Marriage takes work, can I get an, “amen?” Every marriage has good days and bad days, it’s inevitable. Kason and I are really grateful for our marriage, and it’s one of the first things we acknowledge when we pray together every day. We feel the key to a joyful marriage is belief in Jesus, and acknowledge the love He has for us as individuals and our marriage, but we also believe we have to do some work too. We must take initiative and show each other the love that Christ shows us. Today we are sharing our favorite simple habits of a joyful marriage!
Simple Habits of a Joyful Marriage
- Greet each other. When your spouse comes home, stop what you are doing and stand up or walk over to greet them. It will make them feel loved and that you are excited to see them. This has been something I have worked hard to create a habit of doing. I still get butterflies when I hear K’s tires pull into the driveway, so I try really hard to show that by smiling when he comes in, and being excited to see him. To be totally transparent, sometimes I’m excited he’s home so he can play with Snow, and I can catch a little mama break. 🙂 BUT, it’s mostly because our evenings together are my favorite part of the day. We always eat dinner together, play babies or duplos, then we watch one of our family shows together before bathtime. (Sea rescue, Dr. Oakley, or Wilfelife Docs on Hulu, if you are curious!)
- Ask about each other’s day. Have an open-ended conversation about what went on throughout your days, and ask follow up questions to what they tell you. You can also chat about what is on the agenda for the next day. As soon as K opens the door, and we greet him, my first question is usually, “how was your day?” I am genuinely interested in how his day went, and he then asks about our day. He also asks Kerrington what he favorite part of the day was at dinner time.
- Eye contact. Make sure to make eye contact with your spouse when they are talking to you. As a wife and mom, we are constantly juggling and multi-tasking, but it’s important to make sure we can give our husbands the attention they need after a long day at work. If I am cooking dinner still when he gets home, I make a point to pause throughout if even just for a few seconds to make eye contact with him. It makes for a enjoyable conversation when you get to see their eyes and not just the side of their face.
- Mind your manners. If you need help, or something needs to get taken care of remember to say, “please” when asking! “Can you take the trash out for me, please?” “Can you grab that ____for me please.” There’s a huge difference in tone and the will to comply when a request is a question followed by a please, than a command.
- Gratitude. When your spouse does something to help, even if it’s something you asked them to do, say, “thank you.” You can also throw in a random, “I’m grateful for you,” for no reason at all! One of us usually says atleast once a day if not every other day, “Thank you for being my husband,” or “thank you for being my smoking hot wife who does everything for me.” (that’s literally what he says when he says it, he likes to “one-up me!”)
- Let him lead. This is quite a bit easier said than done, especially because we can feel like we (as women) “run” the family. From making appointments, to ensuring everyone is leaving the house on time for church or above said appointments, to meal planning and grocery shopping. However, God’s Word tells us the husband is called to be the head of the household. A simple way to give your husband the opportunity to lead is by letting him “lead” into restaurants, and being the one to ask for a table. I walk fast, and I used to simply just be the first to jump up to the hostess stand at restaurants, but thankfully several years ago, Kason spoke up and communicated that that actually made him feel like he wasn’t up for the job of being “the dude.” Now every time we go to a restaurant, or stand at a ticket booth he is the one to initiate. Another example super recently was with the hurricane. We were on the way home, past Kerrington’s bedtime already, and Kason really wanted to stop at the grocery store to grab a few things. My mind told me to push that we needed to get home, but my heart said to let him lead, and lead he did.
- Letting her decorate. From Kason, “Quick life lesson gentlemen, letting your wife decorate goes a long way. For most of us, she will spend more time in the home than we do. You will want her to be comfortable. And let’s face it…most of us can’t decorate. Everything can’t be all leather and camo.”
- The Art of the Apology. Saying, “I’m sorry” can be a hard thing to do, especially if you are deep in an argument, and sometimes even on the other side of it. However, like with most habits the more you do it the easier it becomes. I am so grateful Kason and I both grew up in homes where we were taught to apologize. This is such an important concept to learn, but even I still struggle with it sometimes, especially being the first to say it. Thankfully Kason is much better at this than me, and often times his apologies are immediate. He encourages me to swallow my pride, and apologize as well so that we can move forward before potential harsh words are given the opportunity to cause damage. We have cultivated this habit by simply apologizing for simple things. We bump into each other, we say sorry, I forget to buy him something he requested, I apologize. I run out of time to get a task done around the house, I apologize even though I know he doesn’t care. He runs late getting home because he got tied up at work, he acknowledges it by saying he is sorry. It’s quite simple to begin a really important habit!
- Say, “I love you” as many times as possible. Mercy, if we each got $1 for everytime we say, “I love you…” I am so so so grateful this has just been something we have always done. Random times throughout the day or night, random texts, multiple times while saying goodbye. We love each other, and we do not hesitate to communicate it. It makes me sad to think there are some who assume their spouse “knows” they love them, so they may offer, “I love you,” once a day at bedtime, or even just at special occasions. It takes two seconds, cost nothing, but means everything.
Now that we are at the end of our post, it’s your turn to adopt a couple of all of these simple habits of a joyful marriage. Pick one or four of these habits to begin working on. Pick up your phone send a sweet text to your spouse telling them you are grateful for them and you love them. When they get home, be excited to see them, and ask about their day. Or, if you are both home walk up to them with a big hug, look them in the eyes and tell them you love them. Easy peesy friends.
What are your favorite simple habits you and your spouse have adopted into your marriage? We’d love to know!